Super Secret Plans | Brazil Here We Come...Another Wedding!

deLoveliest dears! As you may have heard me mention, I am getting married AGAIN in Brazil for my husband's family. Sadly, only a small number could make it from Brazil to share our first special day at the Commander's Mansion in Watertown.

Photo Credit: Darren Pellegrino

So we are doing it again! Mr. de comes from a large family and it seems only right that we also share this important milestone with them too. Plus we will be having the ceremony in the family church where his parents were married in Laguna, Santa Catarina, Brazil.  Super SWOON!

Photo Credit: Source

So the date is set! YAY! January 14, 2012, I will be walking down the aisle again and I want YOU ALL to come along for the ride. I'm handing out front row tickets here on de Lovely Affair and can't wait to share my step by step journey to the altar. You might say, Easy Peasy, you've planned it all once, you can plan it all again...yes and no. I planned a wedding here in Boston where I understood the language, the customs, the norms (or anti norms in some cases for me), the religious traditions and even barriers. There are significant obstacles for me in planning a Destination Wedding without planner in a language that I mostly don't understand. BUT if you know anything about me, you know I am up for the challenge.  It is going to be a wild ride!

Here is my official pitch to you: Please follow our story from our first planning steps to the final "I Do." This is culture and tradition at its best and if we do NOTHING else on this blog, I hope that we have encouraged you to incorporate a little more of who you are and where you come from in your wedding. Become a fan on FACEBOOK, follow us on TWITTER and follow de Lovely Affair blog.
Stay tuned for the good stuff.  We will bring you up to speed as it happens and share a little more of our SUPER SECRET PLANS!  Sneak Peak looks a little something like this! 

Enjoy the sun and smile as often as you can!

Twelve Tip to Planning a Multicultural Wedding

Here are 12 tips for planning a multicultural wedding, thanks to Here Comes the Guide.

1. Communicate openly with both sides of the family early in the process to discuss which traditions they would like to incorporate.

2. Make it clear that this is your wedding, yet you also want to make your families’ customs a part of your day. If they’re not 100% happy with your choices, don’t sweat it

3. Pick a ceremony site that will accommodate your wedding, and know their rules. If you want to get married in a religious center like a church or synagogue, you may need to take classes or follow special guidelines before you can marry there.

4. Consider getting pre-marital counseling. It may be the differences that first attracted you to each other, but for a multicultural marriage to stand the test of time important topics like faith, finances, and childrearing should be discussed in detail before you walk down the aisle. Talking over the big stuff with counselors can clarify expectations and help you avoid trouble down the line.

5. Educate each of your families on what would be considered inappropriate behavior in the other’s social world. A wedding is not the place for cultural faux pas.

6. Don’t feel you have to put all your cultural eggs in one basket. If your backgrounds present too sharp a contrast to be equally represented during the ceremony, there are other opportunities to give each family its due. For example, reserve the ceremony for the bride’s heritage and turn the rehearsal dinner into a celebration of the groom’s. It’s the perfect occasion to explore the African custom of “Tasting the Spices,” or introduce guests to o-shaku, the Japanese sake pouring ritual that reaffirms the bond between friends. If you or your groom is South Asian, why not host a mehndi party for your bachelorette gathering? All the female relatives will enjoy expressing their inner artist through decorative henna designs.

7. Personalize your ceremony. Some officiants of differing religions are open to conducting the ceremony jointly and can help you design one that honors both ethnic and religious traditions. Just make sure the ceremony doesn’t try to incorporate too much and run too long.

8. Help your guests understand any special wedding rituals. If you’re including unusual elements in your wedding, such as the Hispanic custom of wrapping the couple in a lasso, provide brief explanations of their significance in your wedding program so that your guests can appreciate their symbolism. Alternatively, your officiant can clue everyone in.

9. Take advantage of ethnic traditions that do double-duty. Did you know that the breaking of a wine glass after the “I dos” is not only a Jewish custom, but an Italian one as well? And the canopy covering an Indian ceremony, called a mandap, looks just like a souped-up Jewish chuppa!

10. Get inventive with the food. Fusion cuisine is super popular nowadays, so make a cutting-edge gourmet statement while demonstrating how well two cultures can blend. 

11. Schedule dance classes for family members before the big day. Not only is this a fun ice-breaker, but teaching both sides of the family a few key steps will make them more likely to enjoy participating.

12. Honoring your families’ cultures is great, but don’t forget to showcase your own personalities. Play your favorite songs and teach Cousin Habib and Tia Elena how to rock the house. Or personalize the wedding favors—chocolates from Ghirardelli Square where you had your first date.

Most important, have fun and enjoy the process. Make it a de Lovely affair!